Ferri Tales

Not sure if anyone else got raptured, but I sure hope it was the "true believers" and the Republicans (who merely pretend). The world would be very peaceful without them. JLF

An Open Letter to the Jell-O Corporation: You should fire whatever marketing firm you are using for your "Pudding Face" ad. If I was an impressionable person in the demographic you want to reach - probably 6 to 12 year-olds -- I would not eat your product. Who in their right mind wants to look like, or even equate with, the guy with that stupid "pudding face." Your ad is more likely scaring customers away rather than convincing them to try your product. It took Burger King several years to finally dump the marketing firm that created the weird "King". Did you hire them? . JLF

Earth Day 2011 has come and gone, and many think that the day is to remind people about saving the Earth. Nothing could be more wrong. There is nothing -- NOTHING -- that mankind can do to destroy our plant that a few million years won't fix. Current life forms may not survive; the planet doesn't care. Earth Day is a reminder to change our behavior so that we can save our own asses. If every nuclear weapon were exploded, if every nuclear power plant were to melt down, if every drop of oil in the ground were to be dumped in the ocean, if every pollutant know were to be spread over the planet, the planet would recover. Life as we know it may not. But then, the planet doesn't care. In a few million years, normal geologic processes would cleanse the environment. If mankind's current half-assed stewardship destroys all life, new life will probably evolve. And if it doesn't, the planet doesn't care. JLF

Recently, television broadcasts were upgraded to high definition (HD). New recieving equipment is available to display the new HD signal in ever larger screen sizes. Now, 3D seems to be the latest inovation, in part because the increased bandwidth of the HD broadcast spectrum can support the extra information. Cable networks have multiplied such that hundreds of channels are available with most broadcasting 24 hours per day. Big screens, HD, 3D, hundreds of channels, 24 hours each day -- yet the programming availabe for consumption has gotten worse. With so many slots available for programming, the quality of most programs has gone down, making the name "idiot box" even more appropriate for the media. My vote for the overall dumbest program goes to Ghost Hunters and any varient of this paranormal search show. Even if what they look for exists, I doubt that their methods would survive a minimum of scrutiny. Most of the show consists of "Did you see that!" and ...

A review of the yellow pages in my local phone book for Towanda, PA finds only 28 entries under “taverns.” In Bradford (our fair County), there are almost five times as many places to pray to a spirit than there are places to consume some spirits. Also, one can pray anywhere. That’s right – anywhere. There are no laws prohibiting praying anywhere. Any student, teacher, judge, or employee – anyone – can pray silently anywhere, anytime they want, even while they operate an automobile. I don’t recommend praying while driving because, as with other forms of wireless communication, it may distract the driver. To the contrary, there are many laws that prohibit the consumption of alcoholic beverages in many locations or during certain activities. Driving while worshiping the wrong “spirit” can get you in a world of trouble. However, if you’re at home, you can worship both “spirits” simultaneously to your hearts content. So, rather than needing more places to pray, this county needs more p...

In "A Method to Republican Madness" , Robert Perry writes: ... In this analysis, the Republicans believe they can reclaim the lucrative levers of national authority by making the country as ungovernable as possible while a Democrat is in the White House, essentially holding governance hostage until they are restored to power. Then, the Democrats are expected to behave as a docile opposition “for the good of the country” (and usually do). ... So, the Republicans have never been made to pay a political price for their scheming to undercut sitting Democratic presidents -- and to grease the GOP’s route back to power. Whenever a Democrat is in the White House, the Republicans believe they are free do whatever they want to block him from solving national problems, making him look weak and ineffectual. That was true of Johnson, Carter, Clinton and now Obama. This GOP strategy is pursued even if it tarnishes the international image of the United States or if it undermines national s...

Interest in paranormal phenomena has always been high, not only because of the popularity of the current motion picture “Paranormal Activity”, but also because of previous offerings such as “The Blair Witch Project”, “Ghostbusters”, “Poltergeist”, and others in this genre. Whether the movies created the interest, or our innate interest in things unknown and scary popularized the movies is subject to debate. Regardless, interest is high enough to merit the creation of companies that specialize in paranormal investigations – worldwide and locally. After reading the article, “Discussing the paranormal at the Bradford County Library,” in the Review (thedailyreview.com) (Nov 17) about the “haunted” Old Methodist Church in West Burlington Township, I decided to investigate my current 100-plus year old residence. I reviewed the web sites of several paranormal investigative companies to determine the expertise, education, equipment, and licensing needed for an investigation, and concluded that...

Just as I suspected - the Republican Party is full of crap, and its propaganda arm, Fox "News", is also full of crap. When in doubt, ignore anything a Republican says, or anything on Fox "News". It's all crap.

Unto every problem there is a solution, and that solution is tax cuts because "Deficits Don't Matter. Thou shalt cut taxes on the very rich, because the rich giveth to us. Thou shalt deregulate everything that donateth unto us. Thou shalt honor marriage between a man and woman as longeth as we can covet man or woman, or standeth wide in the head. Thou shalt complain and whine constantly, for blessed are the loud and obnoxious. Thou shalt ignore facts and common sense in all matters, for blessed are the uninformed and clueless. Thou shalt offer prayer as solutions to all problems, because prayer is easier and cheaper than work, money, or competency. Thou shalt be loyal to Republican dogma, for they shall be repaid with wingnut welfare. Thou shalt honor life just before and up to birth, and just before and up to death. In between these, you're on your own. Thou shalt blameth all matters on homosexuals, except when it involves an otherwise loyal wingnut and only if he gets ca...

The more I read about what the Republicans and Conservatives are doing to undo anything in the way of progress on anything, the more it reinforces my opinion that the only thing they want to do is destroy the country so that the non-Republican party in charge fails, regardless of the damage done. This tactic may be successful because Republican supporters are gullible and respond well to these smoke and mirror tricks. Republicans are good at getting elected; Republicans suck at governing. Do I hate Republicans and Conservatives? No, but I truly hate assholes and idiots.