More Republican Outrage

Senator Pat Toomey (PA, Republican) is probably too busy to answer Victor Lawson's open letter to him in the Towanda Daily Review on March 6, 2014 about President Obama ripping the U.S. Constitution to shreds. Mr. Lawson wrote that he doesn't want a form letter, so here is how I think Mr. Toomey would reply.

Dear Mr. Lawson:

If Mr. Obama were actually violating the Constitution, we would have an impeachable offence and would act. However, keep in mind that the "Obama is ripping the Constitution to shreds" line is only empty rhetoric from the GOP propaganda arm, Fox News. It keeps our base riled up and donations coming in.

In other areas, the secret GOP Contrivance Committee has been aggressively trying to fabricate evidence for the IRS and Benghazi scandals, but the Democrats keep providing solid evidence to thwart our efforts, in spite of the heroic theatrics by Representative Darrell Issa. Our secret GOP Outrage Department will continue to be outraged regardless of what Mr. Obama does in the Putin invasion of Kiev, Ukraine. Of course, we would support the president if he bombed Iraq.

Our fiscal efforts include Rep. Paul Ryan's poverty report with numerous irrelevant references and a fictional "brown bag" sob story. He also submitted a proposed budget based on his poverty report that will help the poor by making them suffer more so that they can stop being poor.

In the Senate, we blocked the "Comprehensive Veterans Health and Benefits and Military Retirement Pay Restoration Act of 2014" and a bill that would remove military commanders from decisions over the prosecution of sexual assault cases in the military. We did this because our strategy is to oppose anything proposed by Democrats, regardless of the consequences. That's why we oppose The Affordable Care Act –a.k.a. ObamaCare -- even though it was originally a Republican idea and was successfully implemented in Massachusetts by Mitt Romney.

We also oppose same-sex marriage because stable loving relationships are not natural, as demonstrated by serial adulterer Newt Gingrich. And until marijuana can be demonstrated to be as safe as alcohol, tobacco, and firearms, we will oppose its decriminalization and legalization.

The GOP is also working hard to overturn and privatize Social Security, Medicare, and ObamaCare because ridiculously wealthy corporations and billionaires want to become even more ridiculously wealthy. Our vision is to redistribute most of the wealth from the poor and middle class to the rich, some of which will hopefully trickle down to us. This was really the vision of Reagan’s “trickle down economy.”

I hope this encourages you to keep supporting the Republican Party because someday, we hope to change from obstructionist to relevant.

JLF