Ferri Tales

Merry Mithra-mass, Merry Horus-mass, Merry Ra-mass, Merry Baal-mass, Merry Sol-mass, Merry Helios-mass, and for the new kid on the block (around 350C.E.) Merry Christ-mass. JLF .

In the December 9, 2011 issue of Science, researchers from the University of Chicago placed pairs of rats in plexiglass pens, one pair per pen, with one of the rats trapped in a smaller cage within the pen. After about a week of apparent consternation, prodding, and testing, the unrestrained rat eventually figured out how to open the inner cage door and free their mate. In another test, a second inner cage containing bits of chocolate -- the rat’s favorite snack -- were added. The unrestrained rats first freed the caged rats, then shared the chocolate with them. Further tests showed that the rats had no interest in opening empty cages, or cages containing toy rats, indicating that their goal was to help a cage-mate in distress. Mason and Bartal, the UC researchers, concluded that rodents are far more altruistic that previously thought. I would like to propose similar experiments using humans rather than rats. Experimental protocols would use liberals and conservatives as roommates w...

In response to Duane Campbell’s letter of support for Joe Paterno  (Review, Nov. 11, 2011), I doubt that Campbell has read the grand jury  report. He wrote that Paterno “is not only a historically outstanding  coach, he has been all his life a genuinely good person devoted to his  school and to his students.” However, when called upon to do something  that would have added “hero” to his traits, Paterno failed miserably  and, by his own admission, did less that he should have. A “genuinely  good person” does not tolerate the cover-up of the rape of children. Granted, nothing has been proven yet and all will have their day in  court. But the report to Paterno in 2002 by Mike McQueary, then a  graduate assistant, about the alleged rape of a 10 year old boy by  Jerry Sandusky in the Penn State shower room must have been credible.  Otherwise, McQueary would not have been employed for almost a decade  by the university. Mr. Patern...

The video below is from 1989 by The Razorbacks with Mary Margaret O'Hara performing Blue Christmas . The group and Ms. O'Hara are from our neighbor to the north, Canada, where everyone has health care and where the banking system didn't blink in 2008 because of proper government regulation. In the great U.S. of A., we have a dysfunctional congress, and an electorate who vote for candidates who support platforms that are detrimental to the electorate. Anyway, enjoy the music. JLF .

I was watching a scifi movie, Slither , on the AMC yesterday. Not a bad flick, on par with Tremors . A song by The Yayhoos (not Yahoos as the video notes), " Baby I Love You" , played as the final credits scrolled by. It should probably be titled " Baby I Love You But ..." JLF . .

As agreed to in a settlement with the FTC over deceptive advertising, Reebok will refund $25 million to suckers  people who bought their EasyTone and RunTone "toning" shoes. The only thing that surprises me about this is that only Reebok was fined. People -- get with the program. ALL MARKETING IS BULLSHIT. If Nike advertised that Reebok's toning shoes worked, I might pay attention. But when Reebok does it, it is an essentially worthless claim because Reebok is biased about their own products. All marketers are biased about their products because they are paid to be so biased, therefore ALL MARKETING IS BULLSHIT. As a consumer, you may safely ignore any claims made from a biased source. A biased source can be a paid reviewer, or anyone who may profit from the generally positive claims made for a product. And who can most profit from said positive claims -- the manufacturer. The manufacturer pays the marketing people. Therefore, ALL MARKETING IS BULLSHIT. In a Dilbert...

On April 19, 2011, Iranian cleric Kazem Sedighi said, “Many women who do not dress modestly lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which increases earthquakes." I guess if enough people are committing adultery simultaneously, it could cause an earthquake, but I doubt it. As a species, we are getting more rotund, but not nearly enough to move the Earth, if I may wax poetic for a moment. Regardless, the cleric is actually blaming immodestly dressed women as the primary cause. On the same day, Jennifer McCreight, then a senior in the Purdue University College of Science, proposed an experiment, appropriately named Boobquake, to test the cleric's hypothesis. The experimental protocol called for women to dress immodestly on a predetermined day so that "with the power of our scandalous bodies combined, we should surely produce an earthquake. If not, I'm sure Sedighi can come up with a rational explanation for why the gro...

Notice the guy in the lower left. .

In his letter-to-the-editor ( Review, 8/6/11 ), Bob Hawthorne wrote, "If you want to solve health care, provide manufacturing jobs where good benefits are the norm. Want to resolve the mortgage crisis, provide manufacturing jobs so people can earn a decent salary and buy a house." He writes that the President and Congress are doing nothing to improve the current economy. Exactly, at least not while a Democrat sits in the White House. The Republicans will not allow any legislation to pass which would make the current administration look successful. They would prefer to destroy the economy rather than let a Democrat do what is necessary to help. Deficits don't matter - except when a Democrat is president. The debt ceiling doesn't matter - except when a Democrat is president. Reagan tripled the national debt, raised taxes eleven times, and raised the debt ceiling 17 times. Bush Jr. doubled the debt, and raised the debt ceiling 7 times. The Republican ...

I agree with Vincent Calaman ( Review letter, July 29 ) about the size of the universe. It is really really really big. Mr. Calaman points out that "no man will ever travel" beyond our solar system. This may be true for decades, if not for centuries. The nearest star beyond our Sun is 4.3 light-years away. This is 25 million million miles. If you travel at a million miles per hour (approximately 6 times faster than the fastest man made object) it would take 25 million hours or almost 2900 years to get there. Everything else is a lot farther away. It took under 70 years to get from the first flight at Kitty Hawk to a man on the Moon. Mankind has approximately 4 billion years before our Sun uses up its hydrogen fuel and expands to engulf and destroy the Earth.  A lot of technology can be developed in that time, assuming we survive and we stop wasting our time looking to the Bible for answers to technical questions and actually do some real science. For answers to non-technic...

Not sure if anyone else got raptured, but I sure hope it was the "true believers" and the Republicans (who merely pretend). The world would be very peaceful without them. JLF

An Open Letter to the Jell-O Corporation: You should fire whatever marketing firm you are using for your "Pudding Face" ad. If I was an impressionable person in the demographic you want to reach - probably 6 to 12 year-olds -- I would not eat your product. Who in their right mind wants to look like, or even equate with, the guy with that stupid "pudding face." Your ad is more likely scaring customers away rather than convincing them to try your product. It took Burger King several years to finally dump the marketing firm that created the weird "King". Did you hire them? . JLF

Earth Day 2011 has come and gone, and many think that the day is to remind people about saving the Earth. Nothing could be more wrong. There is nothing -- NOTHING -- that mankind can do to destroy our plant that a few million years won't fix. Current life forms may not survive; the planet doesn't care. Earth Day is a reminder to change our behavior so that we can save our own asses. If every nuclear weapon were exploded, if every nuclear power plant were to melt down, if every drop of oil in the ground were to be dumped in the ocean, if every pollutant know were to be spread over the planet, the planet would recover. Life as we know it may not. But then, the planet doesn't care. In a few million years, normal geologic processes would cleanse the environment. If mankind's current half-assed stewardship destroys all life, new life will probably evolve. And if it doesn't, the planet doesn't care. JLF